Saturday, January 14, 2012

Zombie Apocalypse!

We have all either seen movies or played games that involve a Zombie Apocalypse. Sometimes I just like to  come up with scenarios about what I would do if a virus was to spread, infecting people and turning them into zombies. To introduce you into the zombie apocalypse realm, you must first know that there are several different types of zombies. Some are ultra-athletes who can run faster than cars and can jump like 20 feet in the air, but there are also the classic slow and mindless zombies who for some reason can only say, "BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNSSSSSSS", but either one has a weakness... decapitation. (You can't do much without a head.) In order to destroy a zombie one must remove the head from the body. Complete annihilation must be enforced in order to keep these blood thirsty vagabonds at bay. So you probably wonder what in the world does this have to do with anything religion related. Well, I will begin.
Never trust a zombie. Even if he tells you he's just waiting for the bus...

In every zombie movie there is a survivor group. This group works and stays together to keep their safety in a zombie apocalypse. A similar statement was made by an ancient american prophet,
"And the church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls." (Moroni 6:5) This is the reason why it is a commandment to go to church because we live in a spiritual zombie apocalypse, exposure to the virus WILL turn you into a brainless monster who's only train of thought is destroying life.

As well as a survivors group a zombie apocalypse can only be endured if you got the right weapons. I hate to say it, but you'd last about as long in a zombie apocalypse with a pair of scissors as a package of franks at a hot dog eating contest. You get the point, you need to be well armed if you want to withstand a horde of raging zombies set on eating you. Well, what weapons do we have to fend ourselves in this great spiritual zombie apocalypse? What does God say?
"For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12) This is the weapon that we have been given. God has given us His word to help us fend ourselves from these spiritual undead.

Or if he tells you he just wants a hug... he really just wants to eat you.
In conclusion has there ever been a zombie movie where someone from the group doesn't decide that their way is better and that they can stand alone? I am not aware of any. They decide, "Hey I'm going to explore this dark and creepy room by myself!" and what usually happens? A few short moments of suspense and then BAM! They are gonzo. They get attacked and if they survive they become infected and are worse than dead. So what can we learn from this? DON'T STRAY FROM THE GROUP! Don't suppose that you are smarter or any better able to survive the unending waves of soul destroying demons. Survival comes by being obedient to the rules, however unlike a zombie apocalypse these aren't unwritten rules. These are the commandments of God.

Well, despite the light heartedness of this blog I hope you learned a thing or two about how you can apply a zombie apocalypse into your life. I invite you to keep the commandments of God... and buy a machete.


  1. A unlimited ammo hydra shotgun doesn't hurt either.

  2. No, that is an invitation for another time.

  3. Son again you amaze me!! I love this blog and the zombie lovers everywhere should hopefully enjoy the similarities!!